From Fear to Growth: How to Reframe Failure and Find Success
“It is not the failure itself that holds you back; it is the fear of failure that paralyzed you.”
Let’s be honest, nobody likes to fail. In fact, even the word failure can evoke a powerful response from our nervous system, conjuring up memories of past mistakes and missed opportunities. We feel it mentally and physically, like a brutal punch to the gut. However, what if we could reframe our perception of failure and view it as a valuable tool for personal growth and development? Let’s explore a few strategies for embracing failure and turning it into a stepping stone to success.
Normalize & Celebrate Failure
“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”
Many of us were raised to believe that failure is a bad thing. However, what if we could shift our mindset and view failure as an opportunity to learn and grow? My perspective started to shift a few years ago when I heard a story about Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, and her family’s dinner table ritual. Every night, her father would ask her and her brother what they had failed at that day, encouraging them to embrace their mistakes as an essential part of the learning process. It is now a common question in our household.
Normalize and celebrate failure by making it a regular topic of conversation with friends, family, and colleagues. When we remove the stigma associated with failure, we become more willing to take risks, try new things, and learn from our mistakes. Are you encouraged to fail in your home and work environments?
Pain + Reflection = Progress
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
“Pain + Reflection = Progress” is one of Entrepreneur Ray Dalio’s guiding principles, and one that I now hold dearly. We are all going to fail at something; it is inevitable, especially for those of us in the ring, engaging in life, business, and new adventures. When we fail and there is pain, it is crucial to reflect on what the failure is teaching us.
Reflection is critical. If we look externally on why we failed, we can likely find excuses; blaming others is the easy route. The hard truths lie in a long look in the mirror and being honest about the role that we played. Ask yourself what you can learn from your mistakes and how you can apply these lessons to future situations. The growth that we gain through Pain + Reflection is true progress towards being a better version of ourselves. The key in all this is moving forward without shame or remorse. Forgive yourself and move forward with greater self-awareness and resilience.
Curiosity in the Journey Leads to Wisdom
“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
On the surface level, we look outward and see many successful people that we often put on a pedestal and admire from a distance. Do yourself a favor and dig a little deeper; we'll often find that they've faced their fair share of challenges and setbacks. One of my all-time favorite stories is that of Sylvester Stallone. He was rejected multiple times and even had to sell his dog to stay afloat before he was cast as the lead in his own film, Rocky. Or Sara Blakely, who we heard about earlier, failed the LSAT twice and took many jobs before her billion-dollar business, Spanx. By digging deeper into the journeys of successful people, we gain valuable insight into the challenges they faced and the strategies they used to overcome them. Be curious, ask questions, and seek out mentors who can help guide you on your own journey to success.
Flip the Script on Failure. When we see it through a new lens, it isn’t all that scary. By embracing failure and viewing it as an essential part of the learning process, we can unlock our potential for growth and achievement. Normalizing and celebrating failure, reflecting on our mistakes, and seeking out the wisdom of those who have come before us are all powerful strategies for turning failure into a stepping stone to success. So, the next time you experience a setback, remember that failure is not the end of the road – it's just a detour on the journey to success.
I ask you all a question, “what did you fail at today?”
