The Answer Is Within

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

— Lao Tzu

Other Peoples’ Opinions

Lately, I’ve caught myself trying to justify my intentions or correct a narrative someone else heard from a third party. It’s frustrating, especially when I know how I live within my values and the intentions behind my actions. I shared this with a mentor, and their response was epic:

"Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business."

Let that sink in.

The Cost of Being in the Arena

Here’s the truth: if you’re truly living, if you’re stepping into the arena and pushing into the hard places of life, you will make noise. You will evoke emotions. The smoothest path is the one of least resistance, but the game changes when you commit to doing hard things and showing up fully.

You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. Even when we act with integrity and our best intentions, pushing ourselves and others will stir emotions. That’s the cost of growth.

Letting Go of Judgment

I’ve lived long enough, and through enough pain and growth, that I can’t imagine holding judgment over another person. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. Extending empathy, especially to those who have hurt us, is a challenge. But here’s what I believe: 99% of the time, people are doing the best they can with the tools they have and leading with the best of intentions. I tend to believe that people aren’t out there thinking “how can I really hurt someone else today”?

We will fail. We will make mistakes. The key is having enough self-awareness to own our part, make amends where necessary, and move forward. But too often, we get stuck seeking validation or trying to understand someone else’s perspective:

"How could they think that?"
"Why would they do that?"

The truth is, the most important opinion is the one staring back at you in the mirror.

What Really Matters

“When you know yourself, you are empowered. When you accept yourself, you are invincible.”

— Tina Lifford

We can fool a lot of people, but not ourselves. At the end of the day, our real measure is looking ourselves in the eye and knowing we are acting with integrity, doing the right thing, and striving each day to be better.

Let’s not let the opinions or validation of others define what is enough. The answer isn’t out there. It’s within.