What 25 Years of Marriage Taught Me About Loyalty, Leadership, and Lasting Success
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
– Mignon McLaughlin
Lessons from 25 years of marriage
Today marks my 25th wedding anniversary. As cliché as it sounds, I can’t believe how fast time flies. In a world where lasting partnerships are rare, I’m reminded of how the qualities that sustain a strong marriage also fuel meaningful relationships in leadership and life.
So, in honor of 25 years, here’s a reflection on the principles that have guided us in our marriage:
25 Tips for a Lasting Partnership:
Don’t go to bed or leave the day angry. Resolve issues before they turn into resentment.
Create little rituals and moments. Small gestures show you care and keep you connected.
Never see situations as zero-sum. Make room for compromise, even when it's hard.
Make time for each other. Life gets busy, but prioritizing your partner is non-negotiable.
Remember the commitment. There are easy days and days that require work. Staying committed means embracing both.
Celebrate moments—big and small. These memories become touchstones you look back on fondly.
Be a team and individuals. Support each other but leave room to grow independently.
Express how you feel. Open communication keeps resentment at bay.
Handle stress as a unit. Big responsibilities won’t make things easier, so tackle them together.
Love them in their language. Learn how your partner likes to feel loved—and show it that way.
Have fun and laugh. Don’t take everything seriously; laughter keeps things light. Be weird, and love what makes your partner weird.
Don’t be mean. Just because you're close and familiar, doesn’t mean they’re your emotional punching bag.
Respect unconditionally. Show respect through words, actions, and the way you treat each other daily. Appreciate your similarities, and respect your differences.
Prioritize your partner. They’re your #1—sometimes that means choosing them over extended family.
Tell them you care. Don’t assume they know; say it often and mean it.
Keep trying. Don’t take each other for granted—woo each other, be playful, and keep the spark alive.
Make big decisions together. One-sided decision-making breeds resentment over time.
Seek out new adventures. Moving internationally, changing cities—our adventures brought us closer.
Share the workload. Especially with kids, divide responsibilities so both feel supported.
Dream together. Imagine a shared future and take steps to make it real.
Have shared hobbies—and individual ones. Trying new things together is fun, but having your own interests keeps you balanced.
Develop healthy habits together. Supporting each other in staying healthy strengthens the whole relationship.
Declutter your life. A smoother home life reduces stress, making it easier to focus on each other.
Add surprises. Inject a little spontaneity with unexpected gestures that show you care.
Stay connected when apart. A quick message lets them know they’re on your mind.
The truth is, these lessons are just as relevant in the workplace. Building strong partnerships, whether at home or in leadership, requires commitment, empathy, and showing up fully every day.
A Personal Thank You
"Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone—and finding that that’s okay with them."
– Alain de Botton
To my wife, Lori: Thank you for your unconditional love, trust, and support over these 25 years. Because of you, I’ve been able to pursue my goals, knowing our family was grounded in strength and unity. I’m beyond proud of the incredible young women our daughters are becoming, and I look forward to the future—hopefully, doubling this list in another 25 years. Here’s to love, laughter, and the journey ahead!
There were too many good quotes this week - here are the bonus quotes:
"True love is not a hide-and-seek game; in true love, both lovers seek each other."
– Michael Bassey Johnson
"Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do."
– David Wilkerson
"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them."
– Ernest Hemingway
"A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who take turns being strong for each other."
– Ashley Willis
"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."
– Barnett R. Brickner
"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things."
– Kurt Vonnegut
"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."
– Ruth Bell Graham
