Didn’t Get the Promotion? Why It Could Be the Best Thing for Your Career

"Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought it would be like and learn to find joy in the story you’re actually living."

– Rachel Marie Martin

Maybe I should Quit?

Let’s talk about something that stings—a lot: missing out on a promotion.

I had a conversation with a friend this weekend who had just found out the promotion they were counting on went to someone else—a new colleague who was joining their team, no less. After a tough year, they felt they had done everything necessary to earn it.

Their immediate instinct? To get angry and quit. And honestly, who can blame them? It’s a gut punch. Their boss had the nerve to ask, “How are you feeling about this?” Well, pretty crappy, obviously. The kicker? My friend had known for months that someone new was coming—but they only found out a week before that this person was taking the leadership role they were gunning for. Ouch.

Here’s what I told them: I’ve been there. Twice, actually.

Once, I was absolutely sure that either myself or a coworker had the next promotion in the bag. Spoiler alert—we didn’t. Instead, someone else swooped in. We were both frustrated, but I quickly realized that stewing in my disappointment wouldn’t change a thing. So, I did what I believed would be most productive—I supported the new person and focused on doing my job well. My coworker, however, couldn’t shake the frustration, and management started to notice.

Fast forward a few months, and I was offered a different promotion—one that was a perfect fit for my strengths and interests. Had I moved into that first role, I would’ve missed out on this career-defining opportunity.

The second time it happened, I applied for a promotion, felt I’d earned it, but the company went with an external hire. Turns out they had been actively recruiting this person for months. I took it in stride, supported the new hire, and carried on. But, looking back, had my boss been more upfront with me early on, the whole situation would have stung a lot less. Waiting around in silence, anxiously hoping for good news, can make disappointment hit harder.

Now, this isn’t about what managers should do differently (though managers, take note: clear communication matters). This is about how you, as the person passed over, handle it. Here’s my advice:

4 Things to Do When You Miss Out on a Promotion

1. Don’t react right away.

It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to be upset. But don’t let your emotions dictate your response. Give yourself some time, breathe, and seek out advice on how to approach the conversation when you’re calmer. Reacting in the heat of the moment rarely ends well.

2. Realize that they might be building a different puzzle.

You might believe you’re the perfect fit for the role, but leadership might be working on a different vision. That doesn’t mean you’re not valuable—it just means they’re working on a different plan. You could be the missing piece to something else entirely. Don’t close yourself off to future possibilities because you’re stuck on this one.

3. When one door closes… you know the rest.

Sometimes, not getting the promotion means something bigger is waiting. Maybe you need more time to develop or refine a skill. Consider this a chance to grow. Have a conversation with your boss and ask for constructive feedback. What areas can you improve? What’s the next step in your career growth? Show that you’re eager to learn and develop.

4. Maybe it’s time to look elsewhere.

If you’ve explored all the options, sought feedback, and it’s clear your contributions aren’t valued, it may be time to consider other opportunities. If the company’s direction no longer aligns with your values, don’t be afraid to explore what’s next. And remember—it’s always easier to find a new job while you have one. Who knows, after the dust settles, you may rediscover your passion for what you’re currently doing.

Closing Thoughts

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

– Alexander Graham Bell

I won’t downplay it: missing out on a promotion sucks. But it’s how you handle these moments that shapes your leadership journey. Your ability to gracefully navigate disappointment speaks volumes about your leadership character—and it’s what people will remember when they’re considering who to promote next.