Lacking Accountability: The Unintended Consequences

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." — Jim Rohn

“I don’t have time”

I recently found myself surrounded by close friends, all of whom seemed to be just miserable. Some were unhappy with their weight, others hated their jobs, and others couldn't meet new people. As we delved into the reasons, it became clear—they didn't have time for the gym, they didn't want to look for another job, they didn't want to leave their house, and none of us were sleeping well. We jokingly concluded that it really is on us, isn't it?   

In today's world, expectations are higher than ever, but willingness to be accountable is at an all-time low. As parents and leaders, we must set an example, being accountable to ourselves and encouraging people to take responsibility for their actions.  We often miss the mark on accountability, here are a few areas that seem to show up often:

Everyone Gets a Trophy

The pendulum has swung too far towards rewarding mere participation. Life doesn't work that way. Some of the best lessons come from winning, and even more from losing. Reward effort and hard work, and we learn to improve through the struggle of our losses. This is growth.

Enabling the Victims

Being supportive is important, but enabling a victim mentality is detrimental. True love means having candid conversations and encouraging action. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I've been in that negative mindset and likely drained the positivity from many rooms, but I was fortunate enough to have people who loved me enough to call me out. Nobody is coming to save us. It's you vs. you, and you are completely responsible for how the next chapter unfolds. All that being said, for those stuck, part of the accountability here is not being afraid to ask for help. Those three words “I need help” can be the significant first step. 

Blaming Others

We're quick to point fingers and slow to reflect on our own actions. The reflection in the mirror knows the real truth. A crucial question I have begun to ask myself regardless of “fault”  is, “What part did I play in this, and how could I have done better?” It's easy to complain and find a scapegoat, but deep down, only we know if we gave our best. Owning up is the ultimate power move.

Building Confidence Credits: Being Accountable to Ourselves

Accountability begins with ourselves. Keeping promises to ourselves is crucial for building inner confidence. When we follow through on what we say we'll do, we build confidence credits. If you commit to waking up at 7:00 am, don’t hit the snooze button. If you say you'll call your mom, make that call. Failing to follow through leads to shame and guilt, creating a vicious cycle of excuses and negativity. Start by being accountable to yourself, and the rest will follow.

Closing Thoughts

"In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story." — Jeff Bezos

Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but it improves significantly when we take control of what we can. It's easy to blame circumstances for our misery, but realizing that we are 100% accountable for our lives gives us back our power and opens up new possibilities. As leaders, if we don’t hold ourselves and others accountable, we'll foster entitlement and a negative cycle of blame—nobody thrives in that world.