The Power of Pause: Four ways to use a pause in negotiation for better outcomes
“The art of negotiation lies in knowing when to pause, when to listen, and when to reposition yourself.” – John C. Maxwell
Negotiation is an art, and it involves a lot of skills and strategies. Negotiations also evoke a wide range of emotions. The bigger the stakes, the more intense our feelings and emotions can become. Among the many tactics that can be used to improve negotiation outcomes, one of the most effective is the power of pause. This article explores four ways to use a pause during a negotiation to help you achieve your desired outcome.
The Power of Pause
“Pause and remember – when you fight reality, you lose every time. Once you accept the situation for what it truly is, not what you want it to be, you are free to move forward.” - Jennifer Young
A few years ago, I was negotiating a contract with one of our largest customers. We had gone through an extensive discovery period, presented and modified several variables, and were now in the final "deadline" week where we expected to finalize the agreement. However, during the call to finalize the terms of the contract, one of the parties from our customer's side announced that they had already signed an agreement with one of our competitors. This news changed our most significant variable in the proposal dramatically, and things started to get heated. Instinctively I was ready to lash out and likely amp up the tension further, but at that point, I knew it was time to call for a PAUSE.
Pause to Diffuse
“Pausing before speaking is always a good idea, even in the most heated of negotiations. It gives you time to gather your thoughts and approach the situation with a clear head.” – Kenneth Chenault
When two parties are in a conversation that is becoming increasingly heated, calling a pause gives space to regroup on emotions and prevent the wrong words from being spoken. This is true in a negotiation, and it is true in our own relationships. Pausing to diffuse is a strong move as it gives you time to take a step back and determine if you missed anything, replay what you heard, and look for clues. It can also create a level of curiosity for the other party: "Did we go too far, what are they going to do now?"
Pause to Reassess
“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is to step back and take a pause. In negotiations, this can help you diffuse tensions, reassess your position, and ultimately reposition yourself for success.” – Brian Tracy
Once I hung up the call, I debriefed with my colleague and boss, reflecting on different points of the discovery process to confirm whether we missed anything. We assessed what steps we needed to take, analyzed the potential impact of these conditions on us, and prepared potential scenarios for different responses. It was clear that we needed to schedule time to discuss the scenarios with our bosses and determine if we were able to take the next step or if we needed to discuss options with more people.
In all our relationships, personal or professional, it’s important to reassess to determine if “it’s worth it.” Is it worth it to keep pushing hard, or out of our care or respect for the other person, do we need to take a different approach. Relationships can be easily damaged by holding fast to ego or personal agendas.
Pause to Reposition
“In negotiations, there’s nothing more powerful than a well-timed pause. It gives you the chance to regroup, reposition, and ultimately take control of the situation.” – Jack Welch
As the “deadline” was approaching quickly, and the radio silence between our parties continued, I received another email from the other party with a more conciliatory tone. This signal was one of the missed opportunities that I learned from. If I had re-evaluated our overall position within the other party's strategic vision and recognized the strength of our position at this point, we could have leveraged it to get a more favorable outcome.
Our team discussed the options in front of us and took the time to reposition our offer considering the information we now had in front of us. We recognized that although the outcomes of the agreement were much less desirable than what we had anticipated going into the negotiation, we also believed that we were in a much stronger competitive position than we had been in previous conditions. With some reluctance on my part, we moved forward with our repositioned offer, and we did realize some positive gains over the term of the agreement.
However, I think the greatest gain we made for our whole team was an appreciation for how to better assess our position in an agreement, and how to do a better job preparing for the variables that could potentially derail things in future negotiations.
Prepare for the Pause
“In negotiations, the most dangerous moment is when you’re close to success, as it’s then that you can become overconfident and make a mistake. You must always be prepared to pause and reassess.” – Nelson Mandela
Another critical factor that can influence the success of a pause in negotiation is preparation. Before entering any negotiation, it's essential to have a clear understanding of your goals, the desired outcome, and potential challenges. When you have a solid plan in place, it becomes easier to identify the right moments to call for a pause and to use that time effectively.
Additionally, being prepared allows you to remain focused during the negotiation and avoid being caught off guard by unexpected challenges. For example, if you've done your research on the other party's interests and priorities, you'll be better equipped to anticipate their objections and have counterarguments ready. Similarly, if you've thought through your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) ahead of time, you'll have a fallback position if the negotiation isn't going well.
Therefore, taking the time to prepare thoroughly can enhance the effectiveness of the power of pause in negotiation. By combining strategic planning with the use of pauses, you'll be able to navigate even the most challenging negotiations with confidence and achieve better outcomes.
Closing Thoughts
The power of pause is a valuable tool for negotiating better outcomes. By using the pause to diffuse emotions, reassess your position, and reposition your strategy, you can achieve your desired outcome. Remember, negotiation is a process, and sometimes, taking a step back can help you move forward.
It is important to note that while pausing can be an effective tactic, it should not be overused or used in a way that is perceived as manipulative or insincere. The power of pause works best when it is used genuinely and strategically to achieve a positive outcome for both parties involved.
Furthermore, preparation is key in negotiation. Having a clear understanding of your goals, desired outcomes, and potential challenges will make it easier to identify the right moments to call for a pause and use that time effectively. Taking the time to prepare thoroughly can enhance the effectiveness of the power of pause in negotiation.
Mastering the power of pause can be a game-changer in your negotiation skills. By using it strategically and genuinely, you can create space for reflection and refocus, leading to better outcomes for all parties involved.
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About the Author:
Kurtis Graham, the Founder of Leadership in Focus, has over 23 years of progressive leadership experience in sales and marketing, working for Fortune 500 organizations across Canada and internationally in Europe and Southeast Asia. With a passion for driving impactful change in the world of leadership development, Kurtis is always seeking new ways to expand his leadership skills and give back.
