Saying No to Say Yes: How Leaders Can Help Their Teams Achieve Their Best

A ‘no” is an opportunity to learn and grow.” – Unknown

How often do we hear a customer, or potential customer, say "no" and then take that as a signal to move on? In business, not all “no’s” are absolute. A "no" can be an opportunity to reframe the proposition, and it can also be an opportunity to learn from why you lost.

I recently heard an interview with former Pepsi President, Dawn Hudson, where she told the story about when Pepsi was in negotiations to renew their contract with Subway. Hudson said that they had had all the right meetings, they thought they had listened well to what Subway wanted, and then she got a call saying that they had lost the bid to Coke. 

Many people's reaction to this "no" would have been to wallow in what was lost. However, Hudson took this "no" as an opportunity to try again. She reached out to the CEO of Subway and had several meetings over the course of the following weeks. Ultimately, Pepsi lost the bid to Coke, but Hudson said that she and her team learned a lot from that, which only made them stronger in every deal they made after that. 

Hudson's story demonstrates that "no" may be an opportunity that needs to be discovered. Let's explore more ways where "no" can help your team members grow.

"No" can mean "not right now."

"Don't be discouraged by a 'no.' It can mean 'not now' or 'not this way.' Be open to a different possibility." - Tony Robbins

As leaders, we often feel a pressure to say "yes" to every opportunity that comes our way. However, sometimes the best answer is "no, not right now." Sometimes the timing isn’t right, and this response can be an opportunity to reassess the timing and the resources needed to make the project successful. By being clear on the reasons behind the "no," leaders can communicate a sense of transparency and respect for their team's efforts.

Early in my career, I managed a multi-channel services program for our B2B customers. For several valid reasons, the management team made the decision to shut the program down.  As a last-ditch effort to salvage the program, I made a proposal to pivot and develop a B2B loyalty program. Despite the merits of a proposal, the Vice President ultimately decided that it was a "no" for now, and he gave me clear reasons to support his decision. Years later, I was tasked with developing a B2B engagement strategy for our company and proposed an upgraded version of the B2B loyalty program, which we successfully launched a few months later.

Of course, saying "no" can be difficult, especially when we want to please everyone. But ultimately, our accountability lies with doing what's best for the company. And sometimes, that means putting a project on hold until the timing is right or until we have the necessary resources to make it work. It's important to communicate this message clearly to avoid leaving employees feeling frustrated or demotivated. By doing so, we can turn a "no" into an opportunity to try again or to explore new possibilities in the future.

"No" can also mean "you can change my mind."

"No is not a rejection. It's simply a request for more information." - Bo Bennett

Leaders must make tough decisions and sometimes that means saying "no." However, it doesn't necessarily mean shutting the door completely. It can be an opportunity to challenge your team member to change your mind. By doing this, you are giving them a chance to learn and grow while also testing their resilience and follow-through.

When I led the National Key Accounts team, I saw an opportunity to run a program with several of our largest customers that could potentially help us achieve some of our key objectives for the year. After presenting the idea to the President, I received very frank and direct feedback about not presenting something that required that level of investment that was not fully scoped. However, I didn't take the "no" as absolute. By reworking the proposal, anticipating potential questions, and providing expected ROI, I was able to secure funding and achieve several key objectives that year.

Remember, saying "no" doesn't have to be the end of the conversation. It can be a chance for growth and development for both you and your team. By providing specific feedback and breadcrumbs, you can help your team members understand how they can improve or what they can do differently in the future.

"No, but I’d love to say yes if you can give me more information."

"A 'no' is simply a deferred 'yes'." - Mark Victor Hansen

As a leader, it's tempting to say "yes" to a to an incomplete request or proposal that comes your way, especially if you have the experience to see how the pieces fit together. However, your role is not only to give permission but to also teach and coach future leaders. Saying "no" and challenging your team members to build a stronger case can help them develop critical thinking skills and learn how to effectively communicate their ideas.

I recall a similar situation a few years ago when my team and I presented a contract proposal to a customer. Although the buyers were interested in working with us, they had already tentatively agreed to work with another vendor that limited their ability to consider our proposal. It was evident to us that the vendor wanted to work with us in an expanded scope, but they needed a reason to say yes. To address this, instead of accepting their initial "no," I asked for a few days to gather additional data that could give them a reason to reconsider. With this time, we provided a trended analysis that demonstrated how our offer could provide significant incremental value compared to their current tentative terms. Our new data gave them the reason to say yes to us and go back to the other party to renegotiate.

Saying, "No,” but showing that “I'd love to say yes if you can give me a reason why," can help your team members focus on building a stronger case and identifying any gaps in their reasoning. By providing constructive feedback and guidance, you can help them grow and develop as leaders while making better-informed decisions for your company.

Closing Thoughts:

"Every time you hear the word no, it's one step closer to a yes." - Joel Osteen

It's important to remember that "no" doesn't always mean the end of the conversation or the idea. By reframing "no" as an opportunity, leaders can learn from their experiences, reassess the timing and resources needed, challenge their team members to grow and develop, and request more information. By doing so, leaders can turn a "no" into a chance for growth, development, and success.

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About the Author:

Kurtis Graham, the Founder of Leadership in Focus, has over 23 years of progressive leadership experience in sales and marketing, working for Fortune 500 organizations across Canada and internationally in Europe and Southeast Asia. With a passion for driving impactful change in the world of leadership development, Kurtis is always seeking new ways to expand his leadership skills and give back.