The Elephant Invasion: Embracing Courage and Authenticity

"When you remove the elephant in the room real growth can begin." - Curtis Scaplen

Do you ever feel like you or someone else is trying to hide an elephant? It may seem impossible, yet many of us go through our entire lives trying to do just that. In a speech a few years ago, I stated my desire to remove all the elephants from every room, because I believe that growth occurs when we face uncomfortable truths head-on.   Little did I know the power in that statement and the personal journey it would take me on. It is no easy task, but invaluable if you can identify and have the courage to confront all of the elephants that might be playing a role in your personal and professional growth.

The SELF Elephant:

"With self-reflection the elephant in our mind is obvious to us but maybe invisible to the outside world" - Curtis Scaplen

One of the elephants exists to only us, in our minds.  We know deep down inside that until we tackle the elephant, we are not likely to experience the type of growth we are capable of. Perhaps it is a vice or bad habit that we know we need to stop, or a decision that we have been putting off to avoid the pain or discomfort that might come with it. What is occupying all of our thoughts and taking up the valuable real-estate in our mind? What actions can we take to address the elephant once and for all?

The RELATIONSHIP Elephant:

"Growth comes from facing the hard truths" - Curtis Scaplen

Another elephant may be affecting our relationships with family, friends, or even a partner. It could be a boundary that continues to be crossed, unspoken truths about how we are treated and how we feel when we are around them, a family tradition, or a set of values that no longer serve us. Perhaps it is something that happened in the past that we never dealt with and keep burying deep inside. The reality is there is so much opportunity for growth when we tackle the elephant taking up all the capacity.  From personal experience I can tell you that you find out a lot about the relationship when you can address the issues.  Some will get stronger, others you will move on from.  Both versions create clarity.  

The PROFESSIONAL Elephant:

"The more we put off tackling the elephant the stronger they get" - Curtis Scaplen

There could also be an elephant in the workplace. Creating an open and safe environment is the best way to grow. As a leader, it is crucial to encourage your team to share their elephants, as they may not be obvious to you. As an individual, make it a habit to ask the burning question or address the elephant in the room. The reality is that you are likely not the only one thinking similarly. If you get a negative response, it teaches you about the environment you are in and opens up a whole new set of personal choices or decisions.

Closing thoughts:

Growth comes from facing hard truths and listening to that constant little whisper that is trying to tell you something. Getting things out in the open and creating capacity for honest and productive discussions. The more we put off tackling the elephant, the stronger it gets. The more we can remove all the elephants from all the rooms, the more space we will have for healing and growth for ourselves and those in our charge. As my grandmother used to tell me, there are three truths - their truth, your truth, and the actual truth. Few people want the actual truth, as it might challenge their own perspective or version of reality. However, facing hard truths and confronting elephants is crucial for personal and professional growth.

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