The Loneliness Design
"We were born to unite with our fellow men, and to join in community with the human race." – Cicero
Lonely in a Crowded Room
I sat in a room with 300 of my colleagues for our first gathering post-COVID. I was excited to see everyone, and the energy was palpable as we reconnected after long-term social distancing. Conversations were heartfelt, hugs and handshakes lingered, and human connection was re-established. Yet, despite the vibrant atmosphere, I felt loneliness creeping back in. Soon after, we would return to our cocoons, separated once again.
The Loneliness Epidemic
Two weeks ago, I conducted a LinkedIn poll asking if people were feeling lonely. Every single respondent said yes, sometimes. According to a 2023 Gallup global poll, over half the population admitted to feeling lonely occasionally, with both younger and older cohorts experiencing higher rates of loneliness. U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has sounded the alarm on loneliness:
“Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health. Our relationships are a source of healing and well-being hiding in plain sight – one that can help us live healthier, more fulfilled, and more productive lives.”
We Need an Intervention
We are on a slippery slope unless we intervene. Our society is increasingly designed for convenience and separation. Almost anything can be delivered to our door on the same day. We have face-to-face meetings on screens but often leave our cameras off. Blockbuster films stream directly to our living rooms, and social media keeps us updated minute by minute. We're more connected yet lonelier than ever because our connections are filtered.
When I reached my peak of loneliness, I knew it was time to intervene for myself. As leaders, it’s time for us to step up and help the emerging generation of leaders feel re-engaged.
Back to our Youth: 7 Strategies to Combat Loneliness
The answer to combating loneliness can be found by returning to our childhoods, before smartphones, the internet, and social media. As a kid, I may have been bored at times, but I rarely felt lonely. Here are seven strategies inspired by my childhood memories to help combat loneliness:
Create a Pick-Up Game: Spontaneous pick-up games of street hockey or baseball were common in my youth. As adults, let’s create our own “pick-up” groups or games, whether through a running club, pickleball, hiking with friends, or other activities that bring us together.
Join a Group: As a child, I connected with a great youth program through our church. As adults, we can join local business associations, hobby groups, religious or community organizations, or volunteer for local charities.
Be a Mentor: My friend Curtis frequently shares how much he values his mentoring relationships. Volunteering as a mentor can enrich your life and support others during challenging times.
Intentional Informal Meetings: With remote work becoming more common, we need to be intentional about creating in-person connections. For example, at company conferences, leaders can host informal gatherings in central locations like hotel lobby bars. In the office, create impromptu social events that encourage interaction among colleagues across different functions and levels.
Phone a Friend: Texting wasn’t an option for us as kids. Voice-to-voice conversations are invaluable. Regular phone or FaceTime calls with friends can make you feel like you’re in the same room together. Texting creates too many filters and limits deeper connection.
Check In: If calling feels overwhelming, send a message to check in. When you think of someone, take that extra step and reach out. Who doesn’t appreciate receiving a random message that shows someone is thinking about them?
Family Dinners and Game Nights: Sitting around the table as a family to talk and play games was a staple of my youth. Create your version of a phoneless family dinner to connect and share what’s really going on. You can even organize a “friend-family” or “work-family” dinner if you’re intentional about creating time to be present.
Closing Thoughts
"Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much." – Helen Keller
As we navigate an increasingly connected yet isolating world, it's essential to cultivate genuine human connections. By revisiting simple, meaningful activities from our past, we remind ourselves of how we once created belonging and community. Let’s commit to small but significant actions to combat loneliness, both for ourselves and for those around us. Together, we can make a difference.
